For many people, there may be a struggle choosing whether or not a flower girl and / or ring bearer will be a part of your wedding. On the upside, small children look charming in their fancy clothes, and people love ooh-ing and ahh-ing over them. On the downside, sometimes young children can tend to misbehave, and have trouble staying still and complacent through long ceremonies. Maybe you don’t know of anyone who would make a good flower girl or ring bearer. In any case, your wedding day belongs to you, and ultimately the decision is yours.

If you opt out of the traditional flower girl / ring bearer roles, there are alternatives, depending on how you envision your wedding ceremony. Here are some solutions to common situations that arise when planning a wedding.

Not allowed to throw petals in venue: Many couples find that their venue doesn’t permit the throwing of flower petals. In this case, your flower girl could instead carry single flowers to hand to guests as she walks up the aisle, or have two small bouquets to give to the individual mothers of the couple.

No children young enough for roles: If you know of two young people you would like to include in your wedding, but you feel it would be insulting for them to be a flower girl or ring bearer, consider the option of junior bridesmaids or groomsmen. These members of the bridal party stand with the rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen during the ceremony, but don’t always partake in all of the wedding events.

Children too young: One option more and more couples are utilizing is having an older child pull younger children in a wagon up the aisle.

If you choose not to include any children in your wedding, consider having your honor attendants carry your rings for you. Another alternative used by some couples involves having a family pet carry the rings up the aisle, usually loosely sewn on a costume worn by the pet.

Flower girls and ring bearers are a traditional part of a wedding, but in the end, the day is about you. Whatever you decide should reflect the personalities of you and your spouse.